Registered for KINDERGARTEN!

I am getting caught up! On February 25 my baby girl registered for kindergarten. She is thrilled...that makes one of us. She is such a peaceful, tender, sweet little thing that I will miss having her with me during the day. I must admit that as she was sounding out words in the car for me the other day I realized how very ready SHE is for kindergarten....now we just need to get Mommy ready. I love you Bizzie girl!

Confession time...

I have been so terrible about blogging over the last several months. Partially because I have been ridiculously busy. Partially because I may or may not have totally lost our camera...yeah. Way to go me! Anyway--FOUND IT! Now it's time to catch up.

O has told us ever since his "Kachow" (aka Lightning McQueen) birthday party last year that he was going to want a Thomas cake this year. My kids have this thing with getting an idea in their minds and not letting go. Finally when it came time to really do the party we asked him if he was sure he wanted a Thomas cake. We gave him all of his options, and he chose...Thomas. We did our best, and he seemed pleased.

We had a joint family party for both kiddos and they both got SPOILED ROTTEN! Since T already had her big bash with friends she said it would be ok if we just did the Thomas cake for the family party instead of redoing her purse cake too. Thank heavens!

It's time...

I had an experience in January...one that changed my life, and changed who I am. I briefly glossed over it in this post, and it was the catalyst for this decision. I talked to a friend about it. The only person I had known who had dealt with it (I have since found others) too, and she told me to write it down. Writing has always been cathartic for me, but this was different...I wasn't sure I could put it into words, but I did. Here it is...(its kinda long and wordy, but that's how I am).

When I was a little girl, my Dad held me when I was nervous or scared. He held on to the back of my bike and guided me while I was learning to ride my two-wheeler. He held my hand as I moved forward with new experiences, both good and bad. I never thought that I could feel my Heavenly Father’s love in that same way, but now I know better. Through one of life’s most difficult trials, he held my hand.

In January 2011 I attended the temple with my wonderful husband. We had been praying for months to add another little angel to our family. As we left the temple I asked him if had received any inspiration. He told me that he had, and that he felt at peace. I stayed quiet and pondered the very different feeling I had in my heart. I felt distinctly that I was either pregnant, or would be soon, but that something was different. I pondered what that might mean. Does that mean that my child will have a disability? Will I have twins? Weeks went by and I finally got a positive pregnancy test. I started feeling nauseous and tired. It was wonderful. I was so happy to feel so horrible.

I confided, against my better judgment, in one of my sisters. I shared our great news, and we shared tears of joy. My sweet husband and I decided not to tell anyone else for a few more months. We had waited so long that we wanted to be sure. My Heavenly Father knew that I would need someone else to help our family, so he prepared a way through my sister. A few days later I felt horrible pain in my abdomen for several hours. I ignored the pain, realizing that babies do crazy things to a mother’s body. Four days later I woke early in the morning to the same extreme pain. After several hours of being doubled over in pain on the couch I was able to go about my normal life, even taking the opportunity to accompany my family to a movie. After nearly feinting in the parking lot I started to wonder if something was wrong. I thought I would wait and see what the next few days would bring. The next thing I knew I was on the phone with my regular doctor. I don’t remember making the decision to call her. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure that the choice was taken out of my hands. My Father in Heaven knew that it had to be done, and He guided me through it.

At the appointment about an hour later, they discovered an ectopic pregnancy. We were devastated and terrified. The pain had been caused by internal bleeding. I needed to have surgery within a few hours or my life would be in danger. My world was falling apart. Not only was I going to miss out on the opportunity to bring a baby into this world, but I was in mortal peril at the same time. I needed someone else to tend to my children and family needs while my husband and I grieved and prepared for surgery. Thankfully my Father in Heaven had prepared my sister with the information that she needed to step in. Within a few hours I was at the hospital, I was alive, and my baby, or what I thought was my baby, was gone.

I had never heard of anyone else who had been through this particular experience. Even with the strength and support of my husband, I felt alone. My loss was my own. My burden was heavy, and there was not anyone to help me carry it.

After the surgery there was a lot of recovering to do both physically and emotionally. My mother, sisters, husband, father, and friends took great care of both types of needs. Unfortunately there was still a hole. On Sunday I was left alone for the first time as my family attended their church meetings. I spent the nearly four hours alone sobbing uncontrollably. I was alone--so completely and utterly alone. All my life I had been told that Jesus had suffered all things. All I could think was as a man, I know he never suffered this. After hours of sobbing, days of deep sadness, and weeks of loneliness, I realized YES! He did! How could I possibly have ignored His sacrifice? The literal physical suffering may have been different, but His suffering was there just the same.

As I look back on the experience as a whole I realized that my Father in Heaven was holding my hand the entire time. Just as my earthly father would have wanted to prepare me for this hardship, but Heavenly Father gave me a warning. The plan could not be changed. He knew the pain I was going to experience and he warned me. He knew that I was stubborn, so He encouraged me to call the doctor. He knew I was scared, so he blessed my husband with strength to hold me up. He knew that I needed physically and emotional stability, so He sent my brother in law and husband as righteous priesthood holders to give me a blessing. He knew that I was suffering, so he sent me friends and family to support me. I was alone so He sent His Son to suffer all things first, so that I could find strength and companionship in the atonement and in the gospel.

Looking back, I can see all I have been given. I see that my Father in Heaven acted just like my wonderful father on this earth. He held my hand; he encouraged and supported me through every stage of this trial. He knows me so well. He knew what I would need, and He offered it freely before I knew I needed it. Now more than ever before I know that I am a child of God. He is the father of my spirit, and as such he wants to guide me, support me, and hold my hand. If I allow Him, he will hold my hand always.

OTP--yup, now he's three!

My baby boy turned three! (Again, when I find the camera, I will share pictures.)

He is such a joy, and SO VERY different from my girls! He is so rough and tumble. He is a monkey, a wrestler, a boxer, a runner, and most of all he is my little man! This boy keeps me on my toes, and as a three year old he doesn't disappoint. He has his share of fits, fights, bumps, and bruises, but overall he is so happy! Three years ago there were so many colic issues I didn't know if I would ever describe him as happy, but he is, and he shares it with everyone! I often find the boy climbing on counters, jumping off furniture, rolling down stairs and hanging from porch swings (until he broke it). It gives me a heart attack almost every time. I am sure that someday I will get used to it....maybe? For now I am just grateful to have a little boy who brings so much life into each day! His excitement is contagious, and we are lucky to catch the bug.

At three Owen loves Thomas the Train, dinosaurs, and sharks. He loves to be physical and active. He isn't as interested in reading as his sisters, but there is time for that later. He is a pistol and a spit fire, but is almost always willing to give a kiss or a hug! I love that little boy with all my heart, and I am anxiously awaiting 4--mainly because hopefully we will be done with "being three..." if you know what I mean!

7 IS a LUCKY Number, Right?

I am totally late and I feel horrible about it, but my BABY had a birthday...her seventh to be exact. The day itself was not super exciting, especially with Daddy out of town for work, but Mommy tried. She dressed up special in a new outfit, then O, Liz, and I paid her a surprise visit at school with a Happy Meal for lunch. She was pretty pumped. Then I headed back to school at the end of the day for the mandatory bright pink Rice Krispie treats (or for those of you that have noticed my affinity for the Cake Boss, "cereal treats").

She got home from school and we had to be normal at least for a little while. I made her do her homework, etc. (I know, I'm a bad mom. I've accepted it.) Then for her birthday dinner. I asked her what I could make for her special day. She wanted Macaroni and Cheese from Noodles and Co...so that's what she got. Then we got to pick Daddy up from the airport, so she got to stay up late on her special day. She was pretty pumped!

We had her friend party on Saturday. She was pretty happy with how it turned out. I have to admit, she was a little more demanding this year than in years past. Usually she is just happy with whatever we come up with. This year she had a few requests, but nothing huge, and she was very appreciative.

I can hardly believe that my little girl is seven years old! One more year and she will be baptized. I am so happy to have such a wonderful angel in my family. Tori loves to help, loves to learn, loves to try new things, and loves to prove me wrong. I love watching her and listening to her stories, and her thoughts! She has grown up and changed so much in the last year I can hardly believe it! I will have to post pictures if/when I find the camera, but for now, words will have to do. As a seven year old Tori reads incredibly well. She has been reading to the family out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. She flies right my words like enormously and doesn't even hesitate when she reads the scriptures and finds words that I can't even define for her.

Though math isn't her favorite subject, and she gets frustrated sometimes, she is in the highest math group and works really hard at it.

Tori has been taking piano lessons for about 6 months now, and has gone from crying every time she sat on the bench to "hey Mom, listen to this..." all the time. She rarely asks for help and often moves ahead of the songs and pages she is assigned.

My T monkey is a little bit moody and temperamental, but who would expect anything different from a daughter of mine? She can be a great helper, a good friend, a good example, and best of all a nice sibling (when she wants to!).

I am so thankful that Heavenly Father allowed me to raise this little angel, and I am grateful for every day I get to spend as her mother!

I LOVE YOU VICTORIA!

Long Lovely Locks

I told you in the last post that I had to get family pictures taken because this was gonna be a big week, well, here's why...

I have had short hair for most of my adult life. Then I decided to grow it out just a little bit so that I could wear it in a pony tail at girls camp (that was almost two years ago now). After a friend passed away from a brain tumor the day after Thanksgiving 2009 I decided that I was going to grow it out long enough to donate to Locks of Love. Well, I did it...after going through my own personal trial I needed a pick me up. I needed something else to talk about. So, Mandi chopped 13ish inches off. Here you go!

The before...

The during...

The after...

Family Pictures

In preparation for a big week (yup, you will find out about that later, but I'm not telling yet!) we took some family pictures yesterday. It about killed my little post op body, but I think that they turned out pretty good. It was totally last minute, but I really appreciated my family for indulging me on this one. Thanks to Aunt Manda for being our photographer!